Intended Parents 101: Your Top 5 Surrogacy Questions Answered
Surrogacy can be a challenging process to comprehend. There are many aspects to this process that need to be understood. As intended parents, you need to know as much information as possible to ensure a hassle free surrogacy. If you happen to be new to surrogacy, here are the top questions and answers:
Top Question 1: What are the types of women that become surrogates?
Generally, surrogate mothers would have to be between 18 to 38 years old. This is one of the most important requirements surrogacy agencies and intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Another important characteristic is that the surrogate mother should have at least conceived one child to ensure that the surrogate mother can carry pregnancy to term. Finally, the surrogate mother’s top goal should be helping others rather than the monetary compensation involved with surrogacy. In most cases, surrogacy agencies conduct a screening process on surrogate mothers to assure intended parents that they are getting a well-suited surrogate mother. Surrogacy agencies check medical records, financial history and criminal records of surrogate mothers.
Top Question 2: What do Intended Parents look for in a surrogate?
Intended parents normally base their decision on several factors like location of the surrogate mother, level of responsibility, intelligence, health and ability to carry a healthy pregnancy. These are some of the main characteristics that intended parents look for in a surrogate mother. Then there are those intended parents that are very meticulous when choosing a surrogate mother. These intended parents need a surrogate who is in agreement with the level of communication they prefer and someone who agrees to their type and style of relationship during and after the surrogacy. They prefer a surrogate who is not only physically and mentally in line with their expectations but also emotionally.
Top Question 3: Is the surrogate mother properly screened?
It depends. If the referral is coming from an IVF clinic then maybe not, as they generally do not perform the same amount of screening as surrogacy agencies will. If the referral for a surrogate mother comes from a reliable surrogacy agency then the surrogate has passed several mental, emotional and physical screening processes. Surrogacy agencies check medical records from previous pregnancies and conduct psychological and emotional tests on the surrogate mother. If the surrogate is married, her husband will also undergo psychological and medical screening
Top Question 4: Will the Intended Parents and surrogate meet?
It depends on the preference of the intended parents. There are intended parents that prefer not to get emotionally involved with their surrogate. The majority of intended parents however, prefer the “open surrogacy” policy, which means that the intended parents would meet and get to know the surrogate. Meeting the surrogate reassures intended parents that the surrogate’s primary motivation is not the money she earns but rather her desire to help. If the surrogate and the intended parents meet, they can get to know each other and get a better idea if the arrangement will work out.
Top Question 5: As Intended Parents, what are the chances of a successful surrogacy?
In medical terms, a “successful” surrogacy simply means that intended parents end up with a biological child. Since surrogacy involves a complex process like In Vitro Fertilization, the success rate will greatly depend on several factors like the health of the intended parents’ sperm and eggs, ability of the surrogate mother to carry a child to term and health of the surrogate. With these factors taken into consideration, the overall success rate of surrogacy in the US ranges from 70 to 80 percent. Your fertility doctor can give you the rate of success on your surrogacy.
Getting a better understanding of surrogacy before you begin your journey will definitely help you have a successful surrogacy, and understanding these top 5 questions on surrogacy will help you decide on the right thing to do before you start on this very important process. Surrogacy agencies can stand by your side and make the journey a lot easier because they can give you a better idea of what to expect and guide you throughout the whole process.
Your Next Step
To find the surrogate mother that's right for you and your family, simply fill out our easy free online application and a California Surrogate Agency caseworker will contact you to discuss your application, answer any questions you might have, and outline the next steps. And in the meantime, you can also download our free reports to get even more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.Baby Shower Ideas for Intended Parents
Intended parents can find it difficult and confusing to throw a baby shower, since questions like ‘Should we invite the surrogate mother?’ and ‘How do we tell our families and friends about this occasion?’ can arise.
And since surrogacy is a relatively new process, there’s no established tradition in how to throw a baby shower. So to help get you started in planning the perfect baby shower as intended parents, here are some ideas:
If you’re planning a baby shower, consider inviting the surrogate mother – if you have a close relationship with her. If your relationship with her is more on the ‘professional’ level, it might not be so appropriate to invite her – after all, you don’t have a close or a personal relationship.
If you do have a close relationship with her, consider including her name on the invites you send out. It might read something like: “You are invited to attend a baby shower of (baby’s name), Proud parents to be (your names), proud surrogate mother (her name.)
If you invite your surrogate mother to the baby shower, it’s a good idea to suggest that your other guests bring her some small gifts, so that she doesn’t feel left out of the party. Small tokens are just fine – the important thing to remember is to credit her, to make her feel appreciated for all her efforts.
If your relationship with the surrogate mother is close, inviting her to the baby shower is a really good idea; she’ll feel touched to be recognized in this way, and the baby shower may become a treasured memory for her, a highlight of the surrogacy experience.
On the other hand, if your relationship isn’t especially close, and it would therefore be awkward to invite her, you could instead consider throwing her a surprise party after giving birth, or simply give her some presents as a token of gratitude for her contribution to your family.
Your Next Step
To find the surrogate mother that's right for you and your family, simply fill out our easy free online application and a California Surrogate Agency caseworker will contact you to discuss your application, answer any questions you might have, and outline the next steps. And in the meantime, you can also download our free reports to get even more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.Surrogacy Contracts: 3 Helpful Tips Every Intended Parent Should Know
Intended parents can face a lot of confusion regarding the legal aspects of surrogacy, and one of the biggest sources of confusion in the surrogacy process is the surrogacy contract. The surrogacy contract refers to the legal agreement between the intended parents and the surrogate. The contract lists all legal provisions and agreements related to the process of surrogacy. Having a legal contract between a surrogate and the intended parents is very important to avoid any future legal conflicts. In the event of unforeseen circumstances, the surrogacy contract will act as a legal guide for both intended parents and the surrogate.
In order to get a better understanding of surrogacy contracts, here are 3 of the most important things every intended parent should know:
Tip 1. Surrogacy contracts differ from state to state.
Every state recognizes surrogacy as a reproductive option, but while some states have passed laws and statutes defining the surrogacy process, others do not have specific laws addressing surrogacy. In most states where surrogacy is recognized, there are laws and statutes that define the paternity of the child, the financial obligations and the rights of the intended parents and the surrogate. It is very important to know what the local laws and statutes are before getting into any legal contract with a surrogate. Reproductive specialty lawyers who specialize in surrogacy can help intended parents better understand all the different laws and statutes on surrogacy. Surrogate agencies will employ reproductive specialty lawyers for intended parents and surrogates in order to ensure that each party is legally protected.
Tip 2. The surrogacy contract is essential.
The surrogacy contract is very important to avoid any future legal conflicts that may arise during the process of surrogacy. A surrogacy contract is a binding and enforceable legal contract for the intended parents and surrogate. It pre-defines the paternity of the child and both the financial and behavioral responsibilities of each party. The surrogacy contract allows each party (meaning the intended parents and the surrogate) to state their own intentions and responsibilities to one another, and it establishes guidelines for what actions will be taken in the event of medical complications such as the number of embryos to be transferred at one time, if selective reduction is an acceptable option, and which type of delivery method will be used. All of these agreements and conditions are very important to avoid any legal conflicts that may arise during and after the surrogacy process. Surrogate agencies can provide helpful information on the different aspects included in a surrogacy contract.
Tip 3. The surrogacy contract should be reviewed by reproductive specialty lawyers representing each party.
Neither the intended parents nor the surrogate are required by law to use a reproductive specialty lawyer’s services for the surrogacy contract. However, it is highly advisable that the surrogacy contract be reviewed by a reproductive specialty lawyer in order to be certain that the child’s paternity is pre-established, and to properly identify the financial and medical obligations of each party. It is also recommended that both the surrogate and the intended parents have their own reproductive specialty lawyers review the surrogacy contract. Each reproductive specialty lawyer will review the surrogacy contract to ensure that the client’s responsibilities, rights, and paternity are properly identified. In most cases, surrogate agencies will provide both the intended parents and the surrogate with their own reproductive specialty lawyer.
The surrogate process can be confusing for intended parents, and reviewing and understanding the surrogacy contract is one of the best ways to clear up that confusion. The structure and clarity the surrogacy contract provides can help intended parents to feel comfortable and confident throughout the surrogate process.
Your Next Step
To find the surrogate mother that's right for you and your family, simply fill out our easy free online application and a California Surrogate Agency caseworker will contact you to discuss your application, answer any questions you might have, and outline the next steps. And in the meantime, you can also download our free reports to get even more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.Should Pregnant Surrogates Eat Organic Foods?
The goal shared by all intended parents and surrogate mothers is to produce a healthy baby. To ensure that the baby develops properly, it’s very important for the surrogate to eat healthily while she is pregnant. More and more, intended parents are going a step further by asking their surrogates to eat only organic foods. While some surrogates are reluctant to do this, others are entirely willing – after all, it may improve their own health.
As with any significant decision, though, there are pros and cons to be considered.
The downsides include that organic foods can be much more expensive than the same type of non-organically-produced foods. This is due to their higher cost of production. A surrogate may be more willing to eat organic foods if the intended parents offered to pay for the organic foods she eats.
A related issue to that is the fact that organic foods can also be harder to obtain; not every grocery store or supermarket has such a wide selection of organics. They’re a specialty item, after all, and surrogates with fewer options for food-shopping (in rural areas or small towns, for instance) may have trouble shopping for organic foods.
And of course, not every food is available organically. There’s a real possibility that a surrogate eating only organically may have to miss out on some of her favorite foods for the duration of her pregnancy.
There are convenience issues, too. Organics, due to their lack of preservatives, can spoil more easily – shorter shelf-lives, which require more regular shopping.
But there are a lot of good reasons that intended parents ask their surrogates to eat organic foods. Insecticides and additives are potentially harmful if they are passed though to the baby during pregnancy. Organic foods lack insecticides and additives – those things won’t be carried through into the baby.
Health concerns have, from time to time, been raised over genetically modified crops, or meat from animals that have been fed those crops. Organic food, by definition, is not genetically modified, which removes those concerns.
Research has shown, additionally, that organic foods contain more healthy vitamins and minerals, possibly due to the lack of preservatives involved.
And as a side-benefit, if you’re concerned about how animals are treated, organic food is a much better idea. Organic farming requires that animals be fed a natural diet, and are kept (unlike mass-produced ‘factory farm’ meat) in much more humane free-range conditions.
So while organic food can be inconvenient at times and more expensive, it also does provide a much healthier choice for the surrogate and the baby. It’s a big decision that should be weighed seriously from both sides, but there are solid reasons behind why a lot of intended parents do want their surrogate mothers to eat organically during their pregnancy.
Your Next Step
To find the surrogate mother that's right for you and your family, simply fill out our easy free online application and a California Surrogate Agency caseworker will contact you to discuss your application, answer any questions you might have, and outline the next steps. And in the meantime, you can also download our free reports to get even more information on surrogacy and the surrogate experience.Intended Parents 101: Preparing for the Arrival of Your Baby
Fortunately, the nine months between your baby’s conception and arrival gives you plenty of time to prepare. Here are some important tips to help you get ready for the arrival of your new baby:
Learn about the birth process with your surrogate
Because the thought of birth can be very overwhelming (even to an experienced surrogate mother), it’s best to discuss the details with her.
Find a doctor for your surrogate and baby
The best time to find an obstretican is before the fertility treatment starts – during the treatment, things will be hectic. Start looking midway through the surrogate’s pregnancy, around the 4-5 month point. This may seem early, but you’ll want to give yourself plenty of time to find a physician who’ll be a good fit for your family, who accepts your insurance, and who is taking new patients. Ask the people you know for references.
Get on the same page with your surrogate
An important aspect of planning is to inform your surrogate – she should be well informed about the different plans you and your partner have during and after the delivery of the child.
Talk to veteran moms about birth and baby care
Veteran moms have valuable knowledge you can use when your baby comes. They can provide great suggestions and tips on things you need to expect when your child arrives.
Prepare older siblings and pets (if any)
Many parents use a baby doll to help their child understand what’s coming. Older toddlers or pre-schoolers will enjoy the pretend play; when they see you diapering or feeding the new baby later, it will seem familiar. Pets also benefit from special pre-baby preparation. Local trainers may offer classes, or you can turn to books, articles, or videos for tips on teaching your pet and eventually your baby how to respect each other.
Decide who will attend the birth
This is a very personal decision. Some intended parents like a full room while others prefer as few people present as possible. Give some thought to what you want, so that there are no misunderstandings, unwelcome observers, or offended grandmothers. Make sure to also speak about this decision with your surrogate so she will not be surprised at the hospital.
Pack your bag
The last thing you’ll want to worry about when your surrogate goes into labor is whether you have everything packed. Ease your mind by getting your bag together a few weeks before your due date. Important things to bring should include all the legal documents, as well as any gift you may be presenting to your surrogate. Remember, a new baby requires an installed car seat, diapers, wipes, some clothing, and a safe place to sleep.